Void of Emotions

Am void of emotions 
Am lost in my loneliness, 
Indeed it is cold on the 
Other side of my bed, 
Indeed warmth has 
Abandoned me at night. 

I do not remember 
The gentle trace of ur face, 
I do not remember 
The color of ur eyes, 
Nor do I recall 
The shivers from ur stare, 
I do not recall the 
Dance of ur gentle smile 
Nor do I recall the sweet 
Melody of ur laughter, 

Am saddened by the lost memory 
from the anticipation of ur caress 
I weep from the 4gotten memory 
Of how I quivered from ur touch, 
Am wailing from the damaged memory 
Of the sensuous smell of ur tender skin, 
My heart cries from faded memory 
Of the sensation of ur kiss. 

Gone long ago, 
Was the moment wen 
Ur gentle lip nibbled on my ear lobe, 
Lost with the wind 
Was the moment wen 
Your tongue licked every inch of me, 
Washed with my tear drops 
Every love mark inscribed by the 
Graze of ur teeth in moment of passion, 
Died with the sun set the very memory 
Of u making sweet love to me. 

Am void of emotions, 
Indeed my pillow is wet 
From the tears I cry in my loneliness, 
Indeed there is no warmth on 
My side of the bed. 

Am void of emotions 
But I remember you. 

OH HEAVEN............

I have kissed the lips of the Holy Grail,

I have been touched with the wonders

Of fingers so tender it seemed like home.

I shiver with my lips still quivering from

The passion I sought in my soul.

Oh Heaven!

I burn with desire

As I deeply remember

The taste of his lips on mine,

His nibble on my lips so gentle

As though there was mystery hidden,

only to be found by his lips so needed.

Passion so overwhelming I gasp

touch so unhindered i moan

A graze on the nape of my neck i long

the stroke from your fingers i shiver

And here I am still gasping for breath as

I feel the tenderness of his kiss moulding my lips.

Oh Heaven!

I would not ask for more,

For this passion that overwhelmed

My sanity is passion I seek to hold unto.

Yet the passion that has invaded my caution

Must be somewhat forbidden........

UN-SURE

Perhaps I sail through an uneven journey

Perhaps am yet to discover my mystery

Isn’t really an enigma….

Why then do I melt in the embrace of your wanton touch?

Why then do I long for our moments

Of our simple kisses?

The gaze in those your chestnut eyes

Deep, enticing and mysterious

Telling me things that I shouldn’t anticipate

Making me wonder if you are wondering

What I wonder.

Those ripe cherry full lips when gently parted

Making me reach delirium as I deeply anticipate

Its brisk graze on my skin.

Maybe am dazed from intense desire

Maybe am sane from deep insanity..

Perhaps I should realize that some where

In my lust, love might slip by..

And some where in my new trust I might

Get hurt……..

A THOUSAND TIMES + 1

I have heard those words a thousand times + 1

I have felt those stares a thousand time + 1

I have fallen deeply a thousand times + 1

I have trusted my heart a thousand + 1

I have walked that pathway a thousand + 1

I have had my heart crushed a thousand times + 1

Should i then stand in hope for laughter

as they walk through the shores adrift from me,

Could i still stare in hope for trust

waving at the bay as the ship sets sail,

Would i still find that love

as the ship fades from the sight i hold?

Asking for too much?

in my thots, just maybe i am,

Longing for too strong ?

in my search, just maybe i am,

Holding back for too long?

in my pain, just maybe i am,

Searching for dreamy blues?

in my heart, just maybe i am.

I stare in my trance

with my finger so bare

no diamond stone

gracing my show,

would it not be grand

to wave my hand

as a diamond stone

gracing my show,

Perhaps in sway grand

with my satin gown

gracing show.

Then again i would lay at night

pillow soaked like rain had snowed,

lonely gaze with your heart not in hold

throbbing in pain cos my fingers lost to oath,

staring far cos my lips said i do

but maybe graceful stone has my tears to sooth.

My Finger is bare, as the day before,

diamond stone, so far not near,

I ask for more

my crime i fear,

I ask for more

to hold your gaze,

I ask for more

like a fairy tale blues,

i ask for more

To have your heart,

i ask for more

than a diamond stone,

I ask for more

than the word but love,

I ask for more

than a thousand but forever

LUST FOR ALPHABET.

ALL Is fair in love and war

Truth be told I think not grand

Maybe now, it seems so vague

Perhaps in time it won't seem strange.

BATTLING for love, not my rainy day

Then again, I hope to gain

Cos deep in me I long in vain

Perhaps in time it won't seem strange.

C 'EST sera, I whistle away

Were I smart, I would stroll afar

But not me as damaged has appeal.

Perhaps in time It won't seem strange.

DANCING tears in symphony with rain

Ruined makeup dripped down my chin

Walk away drum, rings in my brain.

Perhaps in time it won't seem strange.

EPIPHANY- Us, I saw in my daze

dare I say, u live in my dream

Us is true in my dreamy haze

Perhaps in time it won't seem strange.

FANTASY they say don't come true maybe in time

you would come through

as I hope in time u wld like ice thaw

Perhaps in time it won't seem strange.

GLIDING thots back to you

I close my gaze to the sight of u

yet In my solitude I long for you,

Perhaps in time it won't seem strange.

HOLDING back, a choice I lack

am tongue tied I can't lie

but still in me, my thots so lewd

Perhaps in time it won't seem strange.

INFATUATED! simply not me

If I were, I won't want your smile

If I were, I won't long for ur smell

Perhaps in time it won't seem strange.

JUST this once I would not wink,

for ur thunderous love I won't sleep

cos your tender kiss I cannot miss

Perhaps in time it won't seem strange.

KNOWN haven! I bask in d moment

with pleasure not measured

den again I can't but be merry,

Perhaps in time it won't seem strange.

LOVE, I sure am falling

not true, I' ve fallen

and u seem not too know cos am failing

Perhaps in time it won't seem strange.

MY heart, breaking in pieces

my eyes sweating with sniffles

Its not pain but longing for meaning,

Perhaps in time it won't seem strange.

NOW in my trance

I sure had my chance

or should I sail into ur arms,

Perhaps in time it won't seem strange.

OWNING some pride, I should walk by

and in gentle strides say good bye

so tomorrow we won't be burnt

Perhaps in time it won't seem strange.

PRETTY girls cry not

I heard in a love spot

yet I am here staring @ tears sprouts,

Perhaps in time it won't seem strange.

QUILLS and d sheets won't help now

for my thots are too deep to show,

invisible me I would lay low

Perhaps in time it won't seem strange.

REMEMBER me as winter leaves,

I was ur warmth in winters breeze,

in ur arms I sure was free.

Perhaps in time it won't seem strange.

SPRING has come to save the lust, but,

summer sun won't save my thirst,

and autumn leaves won't wipe my tears,

Perhaps in time it won't seem strange.

TRUST me not were words,

I was deaf I could ve sworn

cos just b4 now I was all yours.

Perhaps in time it won't seem strange.

U alone I long to hold,

in ur arms I long to fold

and in ur warmth I scorn d snow.

Perhaps in time it won't seem strange

VERY many long for me,

subtle letters shown to mean

lust is true n love missing,

Perhaps in time it won't seem strange.

WERE I stronger I would wait forever

but truth is that I can't have u ever

I love u! Words u would say, never,

Perhaps in time it won't seem strange.

XANTHIC sky, its sun set now

throbbing eyes it’s you I know

Fighting chance, again am I all yours?

Perhaps in time it won't seem strange.

YESTERDAY's has so sailed away

lost for words have gone insane

I won't shed a tear not again,

Perhaps in time it won't seem strange.

ZEST to live has clipped my wings

so little trust then all is in vain

so little words and all is disdained,

Now today, it’s seems so strange.

The cursed Gift

She walks with confidence in high heeled knee length boots, her clothe is molded around her body like a second skin, so you can see the rhythmic sway of her hips, her golden skin dancing with the sunlight, her face shinned with a smile as fresh as the breathe of spring, her eyes sweet like summer rain.

Lickerish eyes would turn when she walked, she got all the attention she could ever want and even got the attention she dint want. Every one wanted a piece of the beautiful art, so she got proposals, from the rich and the poor, the old and the young, the single and married, the tall and the short, the powerful and the weak.

Although she would sometimes bask in the luxury of having anything she desired at the snap of her finger and sometimes take into consideration a proposal when loneliness struck, she saw the would, yet the world never saw her, she was a mare prized jewel to any man who held her in his arm. So she world coil into her room and sob herself to sleep, she was beautiful yet she would never be seen past her beauty. She would never find true love simply cos she found it, she would always be loved simply cos she was perfect to the eyes. if she had a scar or her figure disappeared she would not be so appealing to her suitors.

So one day, as she sobbed in solitude, a thought danced into her head, and she took it.

She walks into the room with confidences, her eyes imposing and fearful, she was smart and tough, she was smart and competitive, she was also pretty enough to get a few glance. Men would look at her and think, she is definitely a time bomb not to mess with, so she got proposals from men who only wanted some thing serious.

She is a wife and a mother, she found a man who loved her, a man who knew she was not as tough as her facade, a man who held her through her sobs, a man who kissed her in the mornings before the sunrise kissed her face.

Beauty the cursed gift!

Double Standard {part 1}

Isn't it funny that in the white mans' land,women are as liberated and free spirited as men .

They smoke, drink, dress how they like, hell they pick and drop men as they please, they decide what they want and how they want it, where they want it and when they want it. Amazing right?

So i walk down the street watching the ladies dress in tight fitted dresses with a smile plastered to their faces, it seem life could not be more rosy as worries and troubles end at the bottom of their cigarette bud , laughing without care cos really they don't give a damn @all.

However, Am still yet to decide if African women particularly Nigeria we hide behind a hypocritical facade, not showing who we really or just hiding the who we really for the benefits of societal acceptance. Because the minute they step off the plane its like a whole new life, the freedom to explore like they just broke free from prison.

I also find it amazing how our African men come here willing and so edger to accept foreign women just the way they are,they accept them in spite of the crazy things they do, the crazy things 1/4 of which they would judge an African women to harshly for, don't want to go into an in dept detail of the way the foreign women are, lets just say they are every thing an African woman is not :D

But really jokes apart, a typical well brought up Nigerian lady would go the extra miles for our men, we would slave and cook in the kitchen, do the laundry and still be polite about it because we were thought to do so, we were thought to serve our men, and take good care of them, love them and respect them, support them and cherish them and most of all not refuse them when they call us to the chamber........

So how can i blame our Nigerian men when the start chasing after the skimpy dressed fair skinned mama mia, whose morning words are "baby were is your lighter" when the truth is, just maybe we seem like puppets.

Most of all i cant blame the African ladies who leave home and go crazy, emulating the actions of the foreigners because for once she found some one who made her feel different, and for the first time she doesn't have to pretend to be who she is not, she acts without holding back or reservation hoping that word of her misdeeds doesn't sail back home, so that she could return and settle down as society has dictated.

But in the mist of all these craziness who is to blame?

Is it the society that dictates so strictly making women feel like they no place than to be behind the curtains at all time, or the men who based their world on lies and double standards.

I personally blame society, the crazy notion that the world should be a certain way is sickening to digest, why should it be okay to condemn a woman in your country for certain attributes but love another woman for the same attributes. I fail to understand why!

Double Standard don't you think?